‘Uptown Girls’ and the Importance of Healing Your Inner Child
By Amy Walters
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When it comes to the complexities of growing up as a woman, no film quite encapsulates the feelings of longing, loss, and eventual acceptance than that of Uptown Girls. Released in 2003, the movie features fan favorites, Dakota Fanning and Brittany Murphy, as their characters navigate, seemingly, very different stages of life. Whilst the film was dismissed as “just” another romcom, in more recent years, it has become praised for its exploration of healing your inner child and navigating the complexities of grief.
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The film's core relationship between Molly Gunn and Lorraine "Ray" Schleine is forged out of necessity by the protagonist Gunn, played by Murphy. Molly learns that her manager has embezzled her money and the inheritance she gained from the death of her rockstar father, resulting in her seeking a job as a nanny for the precocious Ray. The two initially seem at odds with one another, with Ray reserved, cautious and mature whilst Molly is all things she loathes with her messy hair and carefree spirit. Despite this, the two form an unlikely friendship in one another as Molly helps Ray, not only with the death of her father but also with relearning how to be a child.
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Brittany Murphy’s character is initially shown to us as the elusive and materialistic Molly Gunn. When her trust fund is embezzled, she is left, for the first time, to navigate life (truly) on her own. Through her privilege, it is suggested to audiences that Gunn has never truly had to grow up; forever cushioned by her parents legacy rather than the pressure of forging her own. However, as the movie develops, the audience comes to understand her childlike outlook is a form of armour against facing grief as well as her fears of ageing. We see these feelings come to fruition as a 20-something Gunn sees her reflection as an elderly woman.
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The topic of ageing in film, particularly for women, is presented as the enemy. A lingering reminder of patriarchal expectations to remain youthful and ultimately desirable for men. Uptown Girls, much like 2024’s Substance tackles this theme head on; albeit VERY differently. Uptown Girls depicts different sides of the spectrum when it comes to age and the experiences of women. We see Ray and Molly reject their given age in the film. Both, in some way, stunted by the trauma of life. Due to her father’s illness, Ray affirms the role of a strict and mature parent, something she lacks in the figure of her mother. Whilst Molly, still grieving the loss of her parents, returns to a child-like lifestyle with a lack of responsibility, fearful to admit she is now alone in the adult world.
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Whilst the characters initially hate one another, their relationship becomes the focal and most healing part of Uptown Girls. Both characters teach one another the importance of acceptance and healing in the face of grief. With Molly’s care of Ray finally allowing her to feel like a child and at the same time allowing Molly to care for her grieving, eight-year-old-self she sees reflected in Ray. The scene, popularised by TikTok, that encapsulates this notion of healing your inner child is when Molly and Ray are going round the teacup ride in Coney Island. The characters don't say a word,with their hands dancing around the table trying to hold on, as the ride spins faster and faster. With Molly looking at a grief-stricken Ray and seeing only a younger version of herself mirrored back at her. This scene reflects a change in both of the characters desperately trying to hold on to what was, despite time passing them by. After throwing up, Ray reacts to the vulnerability of the moment by hitting Molly. Yet, as she continues to punch her stomach, Ray finally admits defeat in the arms of Molly, as both allow one another to grieve.
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The film has become somewhat of a cult classic amongst twenty-something women due to its commentary on wavering adolescence. In an age where social media has forced many girls to grow up before they’re ready, Uptown Girls highlights that nurturing your inner child is not only beneficial but necessary. Whilst growing up on Tumblr or Instagram may have forced girls to drop their Barbies earlier than they should have, the indulgence of watching our favorite childhood films, indulging in pink and doing something we once loved, allows us to remain intact with our younger selves.
Uptown Girls itself also came out at a time where many were asking: “Is childhood disappearing?” Neil Postman, a sociologist, argued that this was a definite yes, with it disappearing at a “dazzling speed” at the turn of the century. He pointed the figure at television screens and magazines for exposing children to the dangers of the wider world. Such worries encapsulated in the character of Ray, who is acutely aware of her health and the world around her. Now, this sounds very familiar and whilst the idea stems from an increase in access to TV's and mobile phones in the 90s, the argument has become increasingly relevant as children echo sounds of Youtube reels and CoComelon.
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For the generation of girls below us, who have only ever known the trends of TikTok and Drunk Elephant face masks, I am so glad that a film like Uptown Girls exists. Whilst over twenty years have passed since its initial release, it remains more poignant than ever for its commentary on growing up, grief and the importance of healing your inner child. I, for one, highly recommend this film, if not for its heartwarming message, than definitely for Brittany Murphy.
