By El Weiss

As I grow closer and closer to embarking on my twenty-somethings, I’ve come to grips with the importance of independence. As someone who relies on their long term relationship and friendships, it’s taken too long to realize that alone time is so needed. It helps you reflect, grow, and create better boundaries.

Around a year ago, I started college. With the voids of unfilled time, I had no idea what to do. I would come back into my room, doom scroll on TikTok, and nap the day away. With some help from YouTube “Day in the Life” vlogs, I took it upon myself to start planning solo dates just like the creators I was watching.

So, what is a solo date? Dating app Bumble defines it as an intentional activity that you do alone. I will warn you that it 100% feels awkward at first. But it gets better, I promise. You’ll end up learning things about yourself that you would’ve never expected.

Now that we’ve defined what the solo date is, you’re going to need some inspo. Here is a comprehensive list of my favorite activities to do by myself.

The Museum

Going somewhere quiet and serene is a great option if you want to dip your toes into the water. Put on your headphones and take in your surroundings. One of my favorite activities is to sit down (please only sit in designated chairs) and ground myself using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Notice five things you can see, four things you can touch (NOT the art), three things you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. The first two are trickier, but once you try the technique you quickly get into the hang of it.

The Cinema

I’m really on a roll with the quiet activities here. In my heart of hearts, I 100% believe the movies are way more fun on your own. Think of that one terrible first date you had. I’m betting it was at the movies, right? Say goodbye to awkward side glances and having to share your popcorn.

Shop for New Media

Whether you prefer books, vinyls, or a little bit of both, shopping for new media is a fun way to spend your free time. The act of browsing through the shelves is so intentional and soothing. Soon you’ll be transported to a whole new world and will forget about the anxiety of being alone.

So. Many. Concerts.

I won’t lie and say I wasn’t totally freaked out at the first concert I went to alone. But it is SO rewarding. Finding people who either like concerts or listen to the same music as you can be so hard. Take the leap and go to the shows you wouldn’t have the chance to go to otherwise. There is nothing as healing as live music.

Junk Journaling

I’ve recently picked this up and am absolutely enamored with it. There’s something so special about tapping into your inner creativity and allowing yourself to collect little pieces of your day. My spreads include everything from Dunkin’ receipts to cool scraps of paper I find. The sky's the limit. I personally recommend putting on your favorite playlist to truly get into the zone.

Jump the Turnstile

For legal reasons I am not telling you to actually jump your local train’s turnstile. When you can’t think of anything to do, there’s nothing more fun than hopping on a local train or bus and seeing where it takes you. You can find some of the best gems by exploring parts of your city or town you wouldn’t normally wander to.

Raid the Bins

This is another suggestion that is more fun by yourself as compared to going with a friend. Find a local thrift store that has pay by pound. If you’ve heard the phrase bins and are totally confused, it refers to huge heaps of clothes that buyers dig through. Meaning, instead of a curated collection, you’re left to your own devices to find potential treasures.

Learn Something New

Learning something new is perfect for the homebody. There are so many free courses online (Canva has a graphic design one!) and it’s so easy to find something you’re interested in. Not to self plug, but Gut Instinct has some lovely thought provoking pieces.

The Food Critic

Love food? You’re in luck. Start off by picking a cafe or restaurant and ordering something you’ve never tried before. If you’re feeling inspired, write some notes on your thoughts and experiences while enjoying your meal. Being reflective is an amazing practice and this is a prime example of how you can exercise it.

Get Crafty

There are so many ways to do this. My personal favorite is going to paint your own pottery. Prefer a class setting? Research local art studios in your area and take a class or two. You can also bring your sketchbook to the park or museum and draw what you see.

Whether or not you gleaned some ideas from this list, I hope you’re all able to expand your boundaries and try something new. Take time to enjoy your company. And of course, don’t forget to follow your gut instinct ;)

The Art of the Solo Date

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