The “Who Cares” Mindset

By Stella Violet

What do you do when you feel like everyone has their lives together? And what do you do when you secretly feel like everyone hates you? Absolutely nothing.

The harsh reality is everyone is too worried about themselves to worry about you. One phrase my friends have adopted is that it’s “never that serious.” As simple and redundant as that might sound, it has changed my outlook on life.

The ‘who cares’ mindset is all about letting go of what everyone else is doing and saying. It might sound easier said than done, but in this article, I’ll tell you my tips and tricks to living a happier, more successful life.

The first step is not giving people a sense of power over you. Maybe this is attributed to the years of bullying I endured as a kid, but people really aren’t as special as they may seem. This is why many people tell you to not meet your idols because of how disappointing the outcome can be.

We see this countlessly on social media when influencers rise to fame and turn out to be complete assholes. This can even be extended to people you know on social media or in real life.

I remember idolizing this group of older kids at my high school. They would throw the most incredible parties, local bands would play, and they would plaster their weekend on social media. I remember being 16 and wanting them to like me so badly.

However, when I met them at a birthday party years later, I realized they weren’t how I had imagined. They were pretentious kids who assumed they were better than everyone else at the party.

They ended up kicking my friends and me out because we weren’t “cool” enough, and that hurt. It ruined my perception of these people I put on a pedestal in my youth, but it also made me realize they were the ones who weren’t “cool” at all.

After that, I began not to care what people thought. If these people I looked up to didn’t like me when I was a near mirror of them, they obviously weren’t people I would want to surround myself with.

I was too young and ignorant to realize my friends were all I needed. People are always looking for the next best thing, it’s human nature. However, it’s more difficult to be satisfied with all you have now. It’s great to meet new people, but always remember who has been there for you in the long run. Once you do, it’s easier not to care what anyone else thinks of you.

I won’t lie to you. I’ve had my fair share of stories spread about me. I’ve done things I’ve regretted and done my best to work on myself. When you’re constantly going out and meeting new faces, people talk. However, it’s what you do with this information that matters. If I’m approached by someone who tells me something they’ve heard about me, I say my peace and move on.

It is useless for anyone to go out of their way and talk down about someone they’re no longer associated with. So, if I’m that important to discuss, I take it as a compliment and move on. After that, it’s up to someone else to decide whether they want to believe what they’ve heard, but that’s their own business. So, why should it matter if it’s not someone you’re close to?

The second step of the ‘Who Cares’ mindset is to lose your fear of public embarrassment. On social media, post for yourself. When you’re out in public, dance, take videos in the street, and compliment strangers. I’ve learned that most of this stuff isn’t even embarrassing. We’ve just become so conditioned as a society to keep to ourselves that we lose this sense of joy.

If you’re too scared to post your music, words, short films, funny videos, or whatever it may be, then, in a sense, you’re giving up on yourself and giving into society. There have been so many times that I’ve been scared to post my poetry, music, and videos on social media, and it is still something I’m working on. However, I’ll never know if something I’ve been working on could have impact on others if I don’t just post.

As for “trolls” or hurtful comments left on your social media, ignore them. They are just bitter and hateful and probably have no social life. It is best to just ignore them or block them and move on with your day.

My ending message for you all would be to just do whatever you want because you’re young and WHO CARES!