The Fear of Looking ‘Cringe’ Is Holding You Back

By Stella Violet

Our generation is known for mocking people for being too earnest, but secretly we wish we could be them. 

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At some point, we’ve all been terrified of looking cringe. 

For me it was middle school, flip phones quickly became iPhone’s and harmless internet trends turned into a way to bully your classmates. 

Regardless of how you developed a sense of embarrassment, one thing is clear: Gen Z is utterly obsessed with avoiding humiliation. 

We’d rather die than be seen as embarrassing. We speak in irony, live in soft launches, and refuse to show genuine excitement for anything that isn’t socially approved. 

And honestly, it’s exhausting. 

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My friends and I are known for getting kicked out of bars, being carried home, and the last to leave the dance floor. 

We’re loud, obnoxious, and unapologetically ourselves. We’re not strangers to whispers and glances from passersby, but we couldn’t care less because the only opinions that matter are, ourselves. 

And, once upon a time people did things simply because they enjoyed them. They wore their favorite band’s merch without worrying if it was “basic.” 

People danced at concerts instead of recording themselves to prove they got pit seats. They posted YouTube covers with zero fear of internet ridicule. 

But now? Everything feels like it comes with a warning label. 

Wearing your favorite band’s merch means having to know every little detail about them or you’re not a “real” fan. Expressing deep emotions online means you’re just looking for attention, and liking something just because it’s popular means you’re basic. 

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The internet has made us painfully self-aware, but instead of using that awareness to connect, we use it to shield ourselves. 

We preemptively cringe at ourselves before anyone else can. We make self deprecating jokes to beat others to the punchline. We downplay our own excitement so no one sees how much we truly care. 

But here’s the thing: caring is cool. And sometimes that means having to own the title of being cringe. 

Think about the most fun you’ve ever had. Maybe it was belting out your favorite songs at karaoke, striking up a conversation with a stranger, or passionately explaining a niche interest of yours to someone who didn’t ask. 

Now imagine you had stopped yourself because you were afraid of looking weird. 

You might say “oh, well I was with my friends” or in the comfort of your own home so it didn’t really matter how weird you were being. 

But here’s a secret: nobody cares as much as you think they do. 

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So much joy gets stolen by the fear of being perceived the wrong way. We limit our experiences to what looks aesthetically pleasing on socials. 

We hold back laughter to maintain the title of “cool girl.” We avoid taking risks because failure equals potential embarrassment. 

Meanwhile, everyone else is constantly thinking the same thing. We are all too wrapped up in our own insecurities to notice your off-key singing or extra long explanation on why Breaking Bad is the greatest show of all time.

And if they do notice? So what? The only people that should matter are the ones who care about you. 

Nothing kills the fear of cringe more than having friends who are down for anything. Find people who encourage your weirdness, not the ones who make you feel self-conscious. 

So instead of avoiding embarrassment, embrace it. 

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Be the person who sings too loud at a concert. Dance as though you and your friends are the only people in the club. 

The more you embrace the uncomfortable, the less power it has over you. 

Remember, being “cool” is an illusion. 

The people who seem effortlessly cool are usually just better at hiding their insecurities. Meanwhile, the most magnetic people in the world aren’t the ones who try to be cool — they’re the ones who are unapologetically themselves. 

The fear of looking cringe is really just the fear of being seen. And that’s tragic, because life is meant to be a little embarrassing.

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It’s meant to be messy, loud, weird, and full of moments that make you laugh at yourself afterwards. 

So go ahead — post that video, wear that outfit, and over share to the fullest extent.

Because the real embarrassment? Is letting the fear of looking cringe keep you from living.