My Nasty Nineteen in NYC: A Travel Diary
By El Weiss
My verdict is NYC is truly magical. I mean, where else would you appear on the news, see the Drew Barrymore Show being filmed, and meet Prue Leith in the span of one day?
Day One: May 12th
Following leaving Boston and coming home to New Hampshire a week ago, I found myself insatiably craving the city. I had grown fond of the melodic sound of sirens, the rhythmic beat of construction, and laughter seeping through my window. At home, all to be heard is the sway of trees dancing in the wind accompanied by an ensemble of crickets and toads.
Don’t get me wrong- I love my home. But the beautiful unpredictability of Boston never fails to draw me in.
After waking up and scrambling to throw together last minute necessities (aka my super extensive skin care routine), I hopped in the car and departed for the train station. The familiarly of the car grounded me as a mix of nervous yet excited anticipation overwhelmed my senses.
In true New York fashion, the bus driver had an attitude. I watched my suitcase get a surprising amount of air time as he tossed in into the under bus storage and reveled in his passive aggression.
Exhausted from a week of waking up at 6 a.m. for work and going to bed disturbingly late, I quickly fell asleep on the coach. I found that taking a nap was a great way to pass the time during the six hours on the road. In between my two naps, I rotated between writing, playing Episode (a newfound addiction; it’s terrible, I know), and doom scrolling on TikTok.
Subsequent to my second nap, we were already in the Bronx. I turned my attention from my phone to the window. My eyes traced local bodegas and shops, locals embarking on their daily routines, and the occasional chain restaurant. Yes, I am talking about the hundreds of Starbucks plaguing the mom and pop cafes. Shortly, the bus pulled into the station and I embarked on a new adventure; figuring out how to find my Uber. Okay, this does sound silly but when you’re used to a nonsensically organized geography such as my beloved Boston, figuring out the grid system proves to be quite difficult.
Finally, I pulled up to my hotel located right in Times Square. I lugged my stuff up to my room and collapsed on the bed.
The Part Where El Finally Starts Exploring the City…
I woke up with the intent of going to Ellen’s Stardust Diner. As I made my way through the crowd illuminated by the most gorgeous form of commercialism, I discovered the diner had a line wrapped around the curb. Hungry and tired, it was time to reevaluate. As I racked my exhausted brain, I landed on Serendipity 3, a restaurant my New Jersey-NYC border native step-mom (and most tourist) raves about.
Amazing decision. I went for the frozen hot chocolate but stayed for the atmosphere and eclectic decorations. As I sipped my frozen hot chocolate, I took in the many chandeliers as Steely Dan and the Dire Straits filled the room. The music was intermittently interrupted by children screeching, but it was all part of the experience.
Day Two: May 13th & My Birthday
My birthday plans were impromptu but perfect. Originally, my plan was to visit the Museum of Sex, but I shifted my plans to walk through Central Park and visit The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Weaving in and out of tourist areas proved to be more interesting than I thought. One second I would be bombarded with tour bus drivers pushing pamphlets into my face and the next I would be rejuvenated by the fresh smell of mowed grass and aged oak trees whispering secrets into oblivion.
The MET (Museum of Metropolitan Art) was a ten minute walk from the east side of Central Park. My local Museum of Fine Arts looked measly in comparison to the four floors the MFA boasts. Upon entering, a colorful sign caught my attention.
If New York City excels in one thing alone, it is juxtaposition. It’s not often I see Greek statues elegantly chiseled out of bronze and limestone parallel to a bright sign advertising Roblox. I felt amused, but deep down, it created a dystopic feel.
Naturally, I decided to ground myself with a snack from the cafe. I opted for the tiramisu crepe cake- aka the best tiramisu I’ve had in my life. It was planted to the right of the Asian Art exhibit which is where I started to explore. I moved my way through various galleries such as the Asian Art room until I found myself in the Modern and Contemporary Art wing. While I have a rich appreciation for art created centuries and millenniums ago, contemporary art holds a special place in my heart. Seeing the paintings I’ve studied in art class is an experience like none other. My eyes unearthed masterpieces by Van Gogh, Picasso, and Monet.
Oh, and I stumbled upon the cover of Lapvona (I’m pretty sure).
I saved the gem of my birthday as a surprise for you, my lovely reader. I got tickets to see Six on Broadway! I must confess that I am a former (recovered) theatre kid. I do still enjoy seeing a good musical and Six is no exception. Clips of the soundtrack have been trending since the Musical.ly days. Whether or not you realized it, you have definitely come across one of the musical’s songs.
The show was nothing short of exquisite. Costume designer Gabriella Slade crafted a flawless blend of traditional British royalty silhouettes and modern embellishments as shown through the gems on the Queen’s dresses. Six is a testament to womanhood and is telling of the overarching and unescapable patriarchy. Together, the Queen’s reclaim their power; they are the reason why King Henry VIII is a household name.
You’d be surprised how sitting for a few hours in the dark strikes an appetite. I returned to Ellen’s Stardust Diner in hope for a table. Thankfully, the wait was only fifteen minutes as opposed to the hours it would have taken yesterday. I got a mac & cheese that was phenomenal- it was so creamy and rich and melted on my tongue. In true children’s food style, I accompanied it with a chocolate milkshake.
Day Three: May 14th
I embarked on another packed day shortly after breakfast. Well, for me, breakfast is 11 a.m. In eighth grade, we went on a class trip to NYC and one of my favorite destinations was the high-line. I decided to pay it a visit. As I stepped outside, I saw a crowd of people adjacent to the infamous giant hotdog statue. While Times Square is normally busy, it was more crowded than usual. Curious, I made my way over to the crowd. It turns out The Drew Barrymore Show was being filmed- and I got to see it!
After leaving the crowd, I stopped at the Moynihan Train Hall and picked up some quiche and a lavender latte from Maman Cafe. As a Boston commuter rail expert, I was impressed by how nice the train station was. The closest thing to luxury that has blessed my presence at Boston’s North Station is a semi-decent Dunkins. I sipped on my coffee as I moved closer to the highline. A huge red tree beckoned me as I made my way up the stairs to the old train tracks that seemed to stretch for miles.
Similar to Times Square, the highline is a blend of new and old. The path was blooming with flowers and leafy plants that contrasted against the high rises in the background. The vibrant lights of a Coach store complimented aging graffiti that told stories of those who tread the path before.
Distracted by the natural beauty surrounding me, I nearly missed her; Prue Leith, judge on The Great British Bake Off. I’ve never met a celebrity. So, seeing her and Drew Barrymore in one day was quite the ride.
Unable to beat the experience of meeting Leith, I knew it was time to head to the Museum of Sex. Videos of The Museum of Sex have been saved in my TikTok favorites for years. I’ve been awaiting the day that I could finally check it out.
The exhibit starts on the first floor and shows artifacts of human sexuality such as Hugh Hefner’s robe and replicas of the first vibrator. My personal favorite was a dildo attached to a screwdriver entitled “Power Tool.” Ouch. It was evident even on the first floor that the museum was there to serve as an informational device- it mixed education with pleasure. I absolutely adore anything to do with sex positivity; I appreciated the curator’s expertise and inclusion of female voices.
My personal favorite room (besides from Super Funland) was “I Licked It, It’s Mine.” This provocative collaboration from artists Oh de Laval, Shafei Xia, and Urara Tsuchiya blended erotic images with feline motifs. Sexuality is displayed as love through the pieces but the use of balance, space, and color alludes to the underlying animalistic nature.
Super Funland was the last exhibit in the museum. It is to only be entered if you dare; you have to exit the room through a giant slide. Some of the activities in the sex themed amusement park included a boob bouncy castle, traditional carnival games such as phallic whack a mole, a mechanical bull ride, and a marriage booth. As displayed in the above image, I married myself. You can probably notice the post boob bouncy castle exhaustion on my face. Oh, and the sperm stuffed animal I won in the whack a mole game.
It wasn’t a complete day without seeing the portal. I’m glad I got to see it as the next day it was taken down. While I was there, CBS NYC pulled up to film a segment on it. Again, curiosity got the better of me and I approached the journalist asking about it. She ended up interviewing me and part of my interview ended up on television. They do say good things come in three. It was certainly a day to remember as I reminisced on my newfound fond memories as I ate some pizza at John’s of Time Square.
Day Four: May 15th
The day had finally come. It was time for me to return to New Hampshire. As the bus pulled out of the station, my eyes were glued to the window. I watched as the buildings brought on evocations which I tucked away in my mind for safekeeping. Goodbye bodega cats. Goodbye hundreds of Starbucks. Goodbye NYC style pizza. Goodbye bagel shops. Goodbye skyscrapers. Goodbye New York City.
As the city fades into the background I let out a sigh and vanish back into my daydreams. Until I see you again, NYC.
