‘Dirty Towel’
By Natalie McCarty
Callie Carpinteri’s film, Dirty Towel, starring Emma Parks, follows the story of a teenage girl who grapples with feelings of shame and guilt after having sex for the first time. Delving deep into the complex emotions and challenges faced by our protagonist, we are confronted with a profound look at generational shame, societal expectations, and self-worth.
I had the wonderful opportunity to interview Callie and Emma before their film screens at the Tribeca Film Festival this week, which you can buy tickets for here: https://tribecafilm.com/films/dirty-towel-2024
Sharing an insight into their inspirations, creative process, and what’s next for the film, they revealed fascinating behind-the-scenes stories, discussed the thematic depth of the movie, and shared their hopes for its impact on audiences. Additional information for this film (as well as contact information) can be found on their website: https://www.dirtytowelmovie.com
For Both Callie and Emma:
What inspired the story of “Dirty Towel” and how did the idea evolve during the writing process?
The idea for “Dirty Towel” was born in March 2023 over In-N-Out burgers during a candid conversation between myself and Emma about the social stigma regarding women’s sexual experiences. Our discussions then expanded to include other friends, family, and many other women’s stories, further validating our observation that, unfortunately, almost every woman has felt shame for their sexual choices. These conversations served as the catalyst for “Dirty Towel,” inspiring us to confront and challenge these experiences through Charlie’s story.
While our initial idea was for the short to have both Charlie, and her mother, Elizabeth, as dual leads, we realized through developing the idea that we wanted to focus deeper on Charlie’s journey for the short. The idea then continued to evolve from there as we honed in on key themes we wanted to explore, spoke to more people about their experiences, and got some really incredible notes and feedback on our script drafts.
2. How does the metaphor of the ‘dirty towel’ resonate with you personally, and why did you choose this specific metaphor?
There have been many times in our lives when we felt like a dirty towel. The same fears that Charlie experiences in our short film are ones we’ve faced in our own lives. In those moments, more than anything, we desperately wanted to feel confident that these fears weren’t true — that you don’t “ruin yourself” and that your sexual choices don’t make you “dirty.”
We chose this metaphor because it specifically relates to how people’s perceptions of you change once you have sex, which is often the root of the shame many feel. Emma shared a friend’s story where her mother used a pristine white towel and dirty handprints to convey the stigma of sex. We both instantly loved the imagery of a white towel becoming stained with handprints to symbolize how many women are told they are “ruined” and “dirty” after having sex, and we knew it was the perfect metaphor to choose.
3. How did your collaborative process work as both co-writers and with Emma also playing the lead role?
I truly believe that in order for a collaboration process of this level to work, there needs to be a strong foundation of trust between people. Thankfully, Emma and I had that, which enabled open communication and collaboration in our roles as co-writers and director/actress. In regards to writing, we wrote the script together over many meetings and zoom calls. During that time, and even following, with every decision we made, we constantly went back to, “What would serve the story best?” Having this central question guide us helped us immensely in our process. Overall, our confidence and support in each other is what makes our partnership and collaborative process work so well and how we brought our shared vision to life.
4. Can you share any challenges you faced while developing the script and how you overcame them?
The biggest challenge developing this script was definitely finding the right balance of comedy and drama. One could approach a story like this through a number of lenses, so we spent a decent amount of time exploring different tones and how it impacted the message and heart of the film. Of course, this exploration didn’t just end with the script. Through all of post production, we made every decision with the goal of creating a film that audiences could relate to and see themselves in. The tone we settled on was a unique mix that together created a grounded, real story that also has moments of levity and hope representing an authentic representation of what life as a human in this crazy world can feel like.
5. In what ways did the dynamic between the characters evolve from the script to the screen?
While the foundation of every relationship remained the same, each actor brought unique details that couldn’t be written into the script. They found life and color from words on a page. Every moment becomes more truthful simply because it is an honest response to their scene partner. From these scenes, the relationships were defined and honed into ones filled with complexity and specificity. There were even a few improvised moments that transformed how we saw a moment or even a whole character. It is a very collaborative process and we are so grateful to have had such an amazing team to help the script become the film it is today.
6. How did you ensure that the film’s portrayal of first sexual experiences felt authentic and not sensationalized?
This was very important to us. We spent many hours discussing and blocking out this scene with us, the actor who played Jack, and our intimacy coordinator. Overall, it was a very collaborative effort to create this moment and everyone involved truly did recognize the importance and vulnerability of a scene like this. One of the most helpful things in not sensationalizing the moment was to embrace every feeling that comes with a pivotal experience such as the one Charlie and Jack have in the film. It is not simply one thing. A person’s first time can be embarrassing and exciting and nerve racking and beautiful and every other word you could think of. It is also different for every person so we simply aimed to create a moment that felt true to us and the actors managed to capture the vulnerability of this moment perfectly.
For Callie (Director/Co-writer):
What was your vision for the film’s visual style and how did you bring that to life on screen?
Creating the visual style of a film is one of my favorite parts of being a director. I’ve always loved the look of coming of age stories such as Lady Bird, Edge of Seventeen, both of which became major comps for our film. I worked a lot with our cinematographer, Emilee, in creating the visual style of the film. With such a personal, real story, we wanted the visual style of Dirty Towel to reflect a very natural, rich, nostalgic feel. For certain flashbacks, Emilee used a lens filter that added a very soft, dreamlike touch to the shots that was further enhanced by our colorist in post-production. Throughout the film, Charlie’s emotions of guilt and fear also manifest visually into moments of emotional realism, which we exemplified through specific lighting, camera movement, and framing.
2. How did you approach directing Emma, especially given her dual role as an actress and co-writer?
This is a really great question. Though Emma and I had written the script together, we both knew that as we moved into production, it would be really important to hone in on our other roles. That meant letting go of the script and letting both our instincts in our next roles guide us in bringing it to life.
As a director, my goal first and foremost is to ensure the comfort of my actors. It was important to me that even though I knew Emma had written the script with me and knew the scenes front and back, we had these important talks about her comfort in performing each scene. Once the comfort was solidified, we really worked together to experiment with each take. My approach to directing Emma was similar yet different to anything I had ever done before. She already had such a vast and deep knowledge of the character and story, so my directions ended up being focused more on refining the subtleties of her performance, as well as the intricacies balancing that tone between comedy and drama. I think Emma is a great actress, and we are both super open and receptive to ideas, so it was honestly a really fun experience directing her.
3. How was your experience working with a child actor for the flashback scenes as Young Charlie? Her inclusion added significant depth to the story. What inspired the decision to incorporate a younger version of Charlie in this way?
I had actually never had experience working with a child actor before this film. However, any nerves I had vanished once I began working with Laurel. She was a ball of the sweetest energy and had immense talent. Given the mature and vulnerable topics the film deals with, it was crucial to ensure that Laurel and her parents felt comfortable and safe. We kept the set pretty closed and made every effort to create a supportive environment.
From the beginning, we knew we wanted the opening scene to feature a younger version of Charlie. It was important to highlight how narratives revolving around shame and sex are often ingrained from a young age. The inclusion of Young Charlie is crucial to the story, emphasizing this point. The decision to add a second flashback scene, where Young Charlie witnesses her mom being vulnerable, came from our own experiences. As children, we often see our parents as invincible. Kids are more perceptive than we sometimes give them credit for, and whether they are internalizing beliefs passed down to them or observing their parents during vulnerable moments, these key experiences can shape who they become.
4. Can you talk about a scene where you experimented with unconventional filming techniques or narrative structures?
Absolutely! One scene that specifically comes to mind is the sequence of Charlie in the grocery store aisle. Given that Charlie’s conflict is very internal, we knew a creative challenge when writing would be to find moments to externalize her feelings. That led to the idea for the aisle scene, a scene in which Charlie hallucinates being slut-shamed by strangers. This unconventional narrative structure is typically referred to as emotional realism, where the heightened emotions of the character affect the “reality” portrayed to the audience.
Our cinematographer, Emilee, and I experimented with different lenses, shots, and blocking to bring this scene to life. We decided to film Charlie’s coverage in one long take, allowing the audience to sit with her in the moment. In contrast, the other customers were shot in selected singles. Not only that but we decided to shoot them in a series — meaning Emilee and I kept the camera rolling as the actors would re-do their lines and I would give direction immediately. This back and forth gave us a variety of options to use. The editing, score, and sound design played crucial roles in creating this scene, experimenting with various sounds to convey Charlie’s anxiety. Overall, it was arguably the hardest yet most collaborative scene in the entire film and I’m so proud of how it turned out.
5. What message do you hope audiences take away from “Dirty Towel”?
My biggest hope for the audience of the film is for each person, especially women, to feel empowered and confident in their choices regardless of the opinions of anyone else. Additionally, I want to spark meaningful conversations and catalyze a collective shift in societal perspectives around sex and shame.
6. If “Dirty Towel” were to be expanded into a feature film, what new themes or characters would you like to explore?
It’s funny you ask because Emma and I have actually written the Dirty Towel feature script! It was always our intention to use Dirty Towel as a proof of concept as we are extremely passionate about this story and the characters who found life in it. While the short focuses solely on the main character, Charlie’s journey, the feature version is a coming of age story for both Charlie and her mother, Elizabeth. In particular, the feature gives a lot of backstory as to how Elizabeth’s experiences shaped who she is, and therefore, how she raised Charlie. The feature further explores the profound impact of generational shame on women’s choices unfolding amidst Charlie’s last two weeks of high school. It also expands on the themes of self-worth, societal expectations, and sexual empowerment that were first introduced in the short. Through following two protagonists from different generations we hope to create a film that people from all generations can see themselves in.
For Emma (Actress/Co-writer):
How did you prepare for the role of Charlie, and what aspects of her character did you find most challenging and most lovely to portray?
Charlie was a very special character to bring to life. My goal when with any character is to play them with as much truth and authenticity as possible. I always strive to create a complete human in whom the audience can see themselves reflected. As a co-writer on this project, I was steps ahead of where I usually begin with character work because Charlie partly came from my mind. I had spent months getting to know who she was so that every line we wrote felt right. Callie and I knew Charlie like the back of our hand which made stepping into her a much more fluid experience. Once I put on my actor cap, I went back and deeply analyzed the character. I discovered what made her tick, her objective, tactics, and the why of each line. From there, I found the places where I could bring myself to the character. Luckily, when it came to Charlie, I saw myself in almost every aspect of her. Much of Charlie’s journey is very internal. So I do think the most challenging part of portraying her was making sure the audience could see externally everything that was going on internally. Overall, Charlie was truly a joy to bring to life and I hope people see themselves in her as much as I did.
2. As a co-writer, how did you balance writing Charlie’s story with bringing her to life on screen?
Interestingly, looking back, I realize I unintentionally separated the roles of co-writer and actor in a very successful way. When we were writing I was dedicated to finding the right words and moments to make a powerful story full of heart. Then when production rolled around, I focused solely on prepping and acting Charlie. I trusted that we had written a solid story that we could be proud of and shifted my focus to bringing that story to life. Co-writing and acting were simply two jobs that required different things. That said, there is no doubt in my mind that knowing I would eventually play Charlie helped us in the writing process and vice versa. This type of creative process brought depth to the project in a very unique and special way.
3. Can you share any memorable moments or improvisations from the set that made it into the final cut?
One of the most memorable moments for me as an actor was the grocery store aisle scene. While most of the scenes throughout the film are either Charlie alone or with one other person, the aisle scene features a number of incredibly talented actors. It was such a joy getting to work with so many people in one scene. Due to the way shots have to be filmed, actors often have to talk to an imaginary person or, if they are lucky, one person standing off camera. However, because of the way this take was filmed, I got to be immersed in the world with seven other actors. There really is nothing quite like having other people to work off of in a scene. There’s just an amazing energy in moments like that which makes it feel more alive. It was also the last scene we filmed which made it even more special and emotional. It was an amazing moment that I will not forget.
4. What was it like to act out scenes that reflect such personal and vulnerable experiences, especially those influenced by societal pressures?
When Callie and I decided to write this story it came from a place of vulnerability. We wanted to tell a story that made people feel seen and gave voice to an often overlooked experience. We poured all this into the script. Having the opportunity to then act out this personal and very vulnerable story was one of the greatest gifts of my life thus far. In filming the scenes, it was super important to both me and Callie to make sure the delicate moments that made this story honest felt authentic. So, while acting, I put down my walls and let my authentic self through. I took every moment I had ever felt shame or hurt or fear for a choice I made and put it into the scenes. It was cathartic, in a way, showing my whole self in those moments. And it wasn’t just cathartic for me. It was also cathartic for every female on our almost-all-women set. You could feel in the air that people related and felt seen.
5. If Charlie could write a letter to her younger self, what do you think she would say?
I think Charlie would tell her younger self, “ Believe in your choices. It won’t always be easy and sometimes you’ll doubt yourself, but at the end of the day, never forget that the only opinion that truly matters is your own. The world is full of people who believe they have the right to tell you what to do and how to live. Over and over again they will judge you and try to put you in a box, but none of that matters. It is in your hands to choose who you want to be. Don’t lose yourself in the opinions of others, rather find yourself in your own.”
